So here I am, completely exhausted at 5:39AM -_-
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have a normal sleep pattern again.
Yesterday I ran on 2 hours sleep and somehow didn't lose my marble.
Today seems to be going along the same path.
I guess staying awake seems to be the most logical at this point considering every single time I try to fall back asleep my daughter just starts screaming again.
I don't think I've ever been so frustrated and zombie-like in my entire life.
My husband and I jokingly say she's going to turn us into alcoholics with this routine of no sleeping.
I often ponder the idea, I'm not going to lie. Waking up in the middle of the night to tend to a screaming, not crying but...full on screaming child o_O seems like it would be much easier after having downed a few dozen spice and sprite.
Maybe then I'll finally puke on her for a change, haa!!
Some nights are better than others, I'll admit, but it seems the majority is endless hours of staring into the wall, wondering which is the easiest and fasted way to kill yourself.
BAHAHA!!! I'm completely kidding about that part obviously, but it seems to be an ongoing joke in my house at times. "Mutual suicide?"...."Nahh, too much effort."
It seems lately she will only sleep next to us, the second we put her in her bassinet...shit hits the fan.
Screaming, crying, flailing. She will do anything to get the hell out of the bassinet.
Ugh, life is going to get interesting when this genius started escaping from the crib. Shit.
There are so many wonderful things to motherhood, but so many frustrating, time consuming, angering, sleep depriving things.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that she doesn't know any better so we often sit there thinking "She hates us, she's just doing this to fuck with us. We're totally gonna make her teenage life hell for this."
Haha, just reading that back makes me feel like a horrible person, even if I really haven't done anything wrong.
No but really, mutual suicide.
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